I was taken aback by his statement. I could hear his words but I couldn’t believe I had just done that? How could I have been so unaware, so blind? How could I NOT have known? Playing hostage to circumstances is not my cup of tea. In fact that’s why I brought BluePrint for Success to Louisiana to help people gain their freedom from those meddling unconscious drivers that are the real reason we don’t get the results we want out of life.
Anyway, I digress, the conversation happened during a therapy session on my neck. Due to the long hours at my computer I had developed some nasty posture habits and my body was beginning to rebel.
Now, thanks to the amazing Daniel at Lake Physical Therapy I can sit at my computer without excruciating neck pains. At this particular visit, where Daniel gave me the shocking revelation, I was expecting the same old session. But, typical Daniel, he didn't like the last results so he wanted to look at doing something new to attack the problem. My progress had been slow up to this point and he offered to try something different. The problem was that my joints in a part of my neck were really stiff and he had an idea to loosen them up. Sounded easy enough. As I lay on my back he took my head to move it in different directions to loosen the joints. My job was to lay relaxed and allow my head to move freely. After a bit he seemed to be getting frustrated. Finally he stopped. “Did you know you were tightening you neck muscles?”
“No, I had no idea” I stumbled. “In fact I was trying to do just the opposite.”
That was an important lesson that reminded me of the many coaching sessions and trainings I have done over the years. In every single private session I have ever had, the client had no idea of what was truly driving them to do what they did.
It’s always something like this, they recognize the wrong results in their lives and they want to change them. Easy enough right? Actually, nothing could be further from the truth! That’s why skills training will only get a person so far. I can tell you what needs to be done to correct your issues but that is not going to get you were you want to be. What most people do not know is that deep within us are unconscious drivers that are the real reason for our current results. It is the unconscious drivers that are moving us to make the wrong choices we are making and it is those wrong choices that, in turn, give us the unwanted results we are experiencing.
For instance, I’m going to be very open and honest with you.I know that one of my internal drivers is my deep desire for approval. Not all that bad of a driver until it gets in the way. By wanting to be really good at everything I become mediocre at most everything. Thus, my driver actually causes me to have results counter to what I truly desire and that is… excellence. I must constantly fight the urge to do it myself and force myself to work in my strengths and collaborate with others to do the rest.
Now I am only able to overcome that problem in my life because of my level of awareness and that level of awareness was only revealed to me after weeks of one on one coaching with a highly trained coach.
And here’s the exciting part! Once you become aware of the true drivers that are hijacking your success, those drivers can never ever rule you again. Then you are truly free! Free to be who you want…free to create your own life….free to sit in the driver’s seat of you life.
I had no idea I was moving my own neck until Daniel made me aware of what I was unconsciously doing. Once I knew, then I could produce behavior more conducive to my healing.
Carl Jung said it best, “Until you make the unconscious conscious it will rule your life and you will call it fate.”
You can’t have real change in your life and in your business unless you experience real transformation.
I'm just not doing it. I'm making the choice to embrace who I am. I'm not going to follow the well-trodden path of mediocrity and average and you shouldn't either.
You are uniquely designed to do great and amazing things. So why aren't you?
If you missed this past weekend's BluePrint for Success you missed a great opportunity to make transformational change in your life. To learn your purpose, your passion, and your vision is a huge beginning to living a fulfilled life.
Knowing who you are and what you want in life are truly the first steps to freedom. I see so many people that are completely overcome with busy yet going nowhere.
Think about it. In the last week, or month, or year, what have you done that has been truly fulfilling? Do you even know who you are or how to live your life to the fullest?
I remember being in that spot years ago. I remember the feeling that life was just passing me by; that I was a victim of circumstances. Although I wasn't grateful at the time, I am eternally grateful for the eye opening life crash that woke me up and forced me to re-think my life.
Ask yourself these two questions:
If I could do anything what would it be?
What do I really really want?
The answer to those two questions can help you begin your journey of self discovery and freedom.
Stop hiding behind busy. Being busy is not fulfilling...it's exhausting. If you want to rise above average and mediocre you must stop doing what the average person is doing.
Let's face it, there are dozens if not hundreds of choices to make every single day. Check social media, watch a TV show, visit friends, make that phone call, speak to that employee, organize the office, meet with a client....
The choice is yours....literally. What choices will you make today that aligns with where you want to be? Every single choice you make today and every day will either get you closer to where you want to be or further away.
Choose to say no to mediocrity and yes to your freedom and fulfillment.
Be well,Angela Decoteau (Deck-uh-toe)
Success Strategist, Awesome Activator
I found this quaint little coffee house just outside of Southern University Law Center is a broken down area of town recently. Since I enjoy helping out the local business person I decided to give it a try.
This small area just outside of our capital city has long been forgotten and fallen into the throngs of disrepair and poverty.
As I sipped my Chai Latte (which was very good by the way). I began to ponder why this area had fallen by the wayside.
The were numerous grants in the area, a business center with a number of classes to help business owners yet still. The area was well below average.
That's when it struck me that the mindset of the entire area had become, "this is our lot in life." In talking to the owner and another business owner next door, the entire mood was they were waiting on someone else to help them move forward.
I remember feeling hopeless when my life hit bottom so I understand it happens but here's the difference. You cannot look at your circumstances, your past and your present as completely out of your control.
Nothing is further from the truth.
Actually it's quite the opposite. You have the power to control your own destiny. You may not feel like it. But you absolutely have the power to create incredible success. If only you can do one thing.
Change your mindset. Many times this mindset switch is a deep work. If happens in our subconscious mind and drives us to do things that are hijacking our success. If you watched my free webinar you saw one universal hijacker and that is fear. There are far more than that.
Once you are able to successfully change your mindset you will be able to break free from obstacles getting in your way.
How can you tell if you are being hijacked?
If you said yes to any of those questions your success is being hijacked- undermined, if you will, by a mindset that went off course.
Here's the good news. You have unlimited potential. You're sitting on a goldmine, and chances are, if you're like most people, you don't even know it.
If you think that's not possible for you, or it's not feasible in your industry, business, sector etc., etc., words won't do justice to just how horribly mistaken you are.
And if there's one thing I can categorically guarantee with every cell of my being, it's that there's a significant capacity within you that is not being utilized.
All you need to do is truly embrace who you are.
Pie in the sky promises? I don't think so.
Right now, the knowledge, information and experience locked up in that marvelous mind of yours is going to waste. It may be serving you and your existing clients well within the limited confines of your business today but are you truly getting the results you desire?
Did you know that only 2-3% of people are using their full potential?
…if you don’t think so then look at anyone who has ever had a coach. How many people after giving up still have more left once their coach encourages them?
There is an audience out there with wants and needs - the very wants and needs you can fulfill. These wants and needs are not being fulfilled.
And if their wants and needs are not being met by you, guess what? Sooner or later, they'll find an alternative voice to scratch their itch.
How can I, at age 57, experience incredible success in Law School? The same reason that I’m experiencing unbelievable success in every area of my life. Because I learned how to Activate my Awesome. I learned how to operate in my sweet spot. That area where I alone can shine. That area where I am strongest.
What if you could come to you business with 100% of your potential.
The key is to discover the hijackers in your mindset and destroy them.
Angela Decoteau (Deck-uh-toe)
Success Strategist, Awesome Activator
I remember years ago thinking about how average my life was and I was just so disturbed by the fact that others seemed to be getting all the breaks. Why can’t I get those breaks? Why am I stuck here doing the same old thing the same old way? ... ad nauseam... I so wanted my life to change.
I hoped for it and wished for it but nothing ever changed. I was stuck.
When I revealed my thoughts to my coach she challenged me: “So what are you afraid of?
And that is when everything changed. You see, there was one little four letter word that was stopping me.
It wasn’t . . .
where I live or
who’s in office or
any number of excuses I hear so many people make. In that conversation the elephant in the room was revealed. In that moment of enlightenment I came face to face with that wretched horrible creature…. fear.
When I became fearless, my life began to take on a whole new meaning. You see, once the roadblocks in your life are revealed. Once they are known to the conscious mind they can never ever hold you back again.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious it will rule your life and you will call it fate.” Carl Young
Fear is absolutely a universal roadblock. It has successfully kept more people in the dregs of mediocrity than any other outside source.
But living fearlessly, now that’s an entirely different story. Once I realized it was fear and fear alone I began to reach out, fearlessly, for opportunities that I never dreamed possible. I’m truly living my dreams today. I’m exactly where I want to be and doing the things I’ve always longed to do.
Last week I was given the opportunity to become a state wide trainer to the trainer for microbusinesses. This is a huge opportunity to do exactly what I love, help others succeed. I am now in my third year of law school (at the age of 56) and thoroughly loving the journey. There are so many other opportunities that I could mention that have come to me since I made the decision to live fearlessly that it would literally take an encyclopedia to tell them all.
What about you? Are you still sitting there settling for average and ordinary? Are you still doing the same old thing the same old way and getting the same old results?
When my life hit bottom in 2011 I had no idea what was going on or how to fix it. I was broken, I lost confidence, I lost courage to move forward. I was frozen in fear of failure. To be quite honest I wanted to curl up in a little ball and make the world go away.
I was a smart gal with great mentors and great trainings. I had the tools I needed for success but my results were not at all what I was striving for. It just didn't add up. Then I discovered the problem.
At the time I had no idea that the hijackers of my success are the very same hijackers that will undermine your success and anyone else who strives to rise above the status quo.
Those hijackers can not be seen by others they can not be touched. Those hijackers live and are given life in our mindset. The experiences of your life have formed within you certain set ways of acting, reacting, and making decisions.
Think about it. There are many many highly successful individuals in this world. Why are they getting the results they are getting? If you checked the skill set of each of them you would find out that it isn't skill alone that got them where they are.
It's their mindset.
These mindsets control your outcomes. They are the hijackers of your success. They are the reason you are getting your current results. They can not be changed by education alone. Although education is absolutely helpful in a mind shift, education alone won't help you created the drastic change that will give you the dramatic results you desire.
A mindset shift takes a journey of discovery. It takes stopping the noise from the outside world. It takes the help of trained coaches and facilitators. It takes work.
I just stared at her as if I had seen a ghost. My coach had just helped me discover a powerful truth. A truth that would change my life forever.
At that very moment, my level of consciousness had been elevated and I suddenly became aware that I had settled for easy and mediocre. That I had settled for average….and the average and ordinary results I was getting was a direct result of those decisions.
At that moment, I made a conscious decision to seek mentors and coaches. To invest a large amount of time and money -- to go on a journey of self discovery to learn the secrets of how to live the life that few ever get to experience... the empowered life.
What I discovered brought me to a whole other level. I became empowered to live beyond where I was comfortable and to live a life I never thought possible.
Her question was this, “If you could do anything what would it be?”
If your answer to that question is different than what you are currently experiencing, then you are not living the empowered life.
What are you doing today to live the life you really want? Are you embracing the real you? Are you experience the amazing results that your unique gifts and talents alone can bring to this world?
Most people don’t even realize their lives are stuck on the average train. They call it stress or burn out or any number of other things when in reality, their body is screaming at them that they are not living the life they were meant to live. They are not living the empowered life. If you are experiencing these negative emotions take a good hard look at your life and business. Are you reaching the levels of success you desire? Are you working really hard every day and not experiencing the results you desire?
Are you just surviving each day doing the same old thing the same old way and getting the same old results?
What if in just one weekend you can completely change your life and your business?
It’s one small investment for a life time of rewards. What if you could get empowered to increase your business by just 10%? What if you could just double the size of your market? What would you give to live the life you imagined?
What if you could live your life empowered? Free from what is really holding you back?
Living empowered is, first of all, knowing who you are, your purpose, and your true passions.
Seems like an easy task but far few people have taken this journey. It has taken me many years of learning from top specialists in their field for me to unleash my Awesome and live empowered... and my journey still continues.
The higher you desire to climb toward success, the greater your need to solve highly complicated problems.
Highly complicated problems are best solved with a team that can do one thing well....communicate.
When a business is young there are small problems that must be overcome. Decisions, like what logo and branding, are fairly simple.
As the business and the team grows the owner must grow as well. I like to think of a businesses as similar to a marriage. First there is the honeymoon stage when all seems right in the world, then comes children and all the decision making that comes with them. Add more children and you add to the level of complication.
After 38 years of marriage we are long past the honeymoon stage. With 3 children and 12 Grandchildren, I can tell you that the need to communicate at a higher level has grown every year.
The higher the level of communication the higher the level of understanding. The reward of high level communication is cooperation, collaboration, and the ability to navigate through the most difficult issues. If your ability to communicate does not grow you business will stagnate.
To the business owner high level communication equals growth, profits, and success.
So where is your communication level? Where is the communication level of your team? No matter where you are there is room for growth.
If you haven't joined one of our free Lunch n Learns you should start there. Then move to the Communication Workshop Package. If your entire team needs better communication skills you may want to consider bringing everyone. Every penny spent on advancing the skills of your team will reward you with extraordinary results of growth and profits.
I have to admit I often ignore my own needs for the sake of others and I’ve definitely been neglectful in the past, and sadly, those around me suffered. But I am happy to say those days of blindly and aimlessly going about life is over.
As I march on to a purposeful life. One where I know my purpose, my strengths and even my weaknesses I have become brutally aware of untapped potential that lays hidden in the dark shadows of my unexplored psyche. Can there be anything more wasteful, and sorrowful, than natural ability unexplored, undeveloped, and unexpressed?
When my life became suddenly “re-organized” the pain of where I was soon became so great I was forced to face some hard truths. I was forced to explore the reasons behind the results and I discovered the gift of enlightenment - thanks to those coaches who didn’t hold back. Who helped me expose long buried experiences that had created the faulty thinking that had led to my life collapse.
I have worked hard over the last 7 years and even reached out to coaches to help me, and the reward of enlightenment has been my rich reward. Better results in my business and those of others have been the extra amazing bonus that overflows my cup.
The greatest privilege of all is the opportunity to live life in order to enlighten oneself.
The second greatest privilege of all is to be gifted with the awareness to see that truth.
The third greatest privilege of all is to be given the opportunity to be a source of enlightenment in others, so they too can self-actualize and lead far more successful lives.
Such is the abundance of my privileges.
Privilege comes with significant responsibility. As a highly conscious teacher shared many moons ago:
“To everyone whom much has been given, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked".
My primary responsibility is to my Self - to choose who I want to be, to be who I choose to be, and be the best version of that I can be.
My second responsibility is to be the best version of who I choose to be to those closest to me.
My third responsibility is to be the best version of who I chose to be to those I serve professionally.
If I'm not bringing light to my own darkness, how I can I expect to ask it of others?
If I'm not elevating my own consciousness, how am I qualified to help others do the same?
If I'm not improving who I am, what gives me the right to challenge others to do the same?
This is why I’ve chosen to get the kind of therapy that will help me dig deep; to uncover areas I’ve not yet exposed. I was so resistant in the past it took a life crash to shake me up. How ridiculous!
I know it will not be easy. Those long buried patterns of thought -that no longer serves me- will resist exposure no doubt. It will take work and patience, but I know that once exposed I will be free. Free to become who I was made to be because once the unconscious becomes conscious, once those faulty patterns of thought are exposed, they will never control me again.
And the best reward of all… I’ll be becoming a better version of myself so I can give more to others.
To be continued...
Angela Decoteau (Deck-uh-toe)
When I came back from traveling I had great intentions on getting work done and accomplishing great things. As usual the thinking about success clashed with the accomplishing success in my life. After a week of being busy I looked back to evaluate the week to see what had been accomplished. I noticed that most of my time was filled with activities that had nothing to do with my goals.
My calendar was a mess of scribbled in schedule breakers. A random phone call or a text slipped in unexpected, or was it two or three, I got distracted from the task at hand. I found myself gazing at Facebook and becoming generally distracted.
It was time to clean up the mess I was becoming.
It wasn’t that I was bored. I was busy every day all day. But busy doing what? A closer look at the activities of the week revealed I had fallen into the trap of allowing others to fill my calendar. You see when other people are allowed to fill your calendar, they fill it with what’s important to them. They fill it with their priority not your priority. They made their agenda my agenda. Working from home has its advantages for sure but work from home means “she’s available” to others.
I needed to take control of the situation and fill my calendar with the activities that were important to me. If not, my life would become a passive life. One that others would control. One that drifted with the tide of other’s emergencies.
Success is a result of an active life. One in which you are the driver. You are the controller of what you do each day. Other people have their place but their place is controlled by you. You chose when to spend time with them and for how long.
One thing is certain, mediocrity doesn’t take much effort. It just happens. It was happening to me. It crept up on me like a thief and before I knew it I was drifting quickly toward it.
But I don’t want to live a mediocre life. I know you don’t either.
Success takes planning and effort. Determined to take control again I took Sunday afternoon and prioritized my calendar in such a way that this week I am doing the things that are important to accomplish. The things that are important to me. So far much better. I’m still a little slow with this email but that’s because another force keeps tugging at me called procrastination. That’s a whole other email….
Bottom line is I’m better than last week and I’ll be even better next week.
Who’s planning your life? Take time to reflect back on your day and your week. What went right and what can you do better? If you strive for mediocrity you’ll arrive at average and ordinary. The world is over run with average and ordinary. If you want more from life it will take effort on your part. Even if you can’t make leaps and bounds in the direction of your goals and dreams you can take a tiny step. If each tiny step is in the right direction, over time you will get there.
Fear runs deep. Fear is what keeps us alive. Fear of the unknown balances childish curiosity and keeps us safe.
The thing is, even though most of us are no longer children.... fear still runs deep.
We still feel the same feelings when we face possible failure, but now those feelings revolve around shame. Losing a video game in private is fine, but asking a stupid question in a meeting is not.
Shame is the dream killer, because shame (or the possibility of shame) amplifies our fear of fear, keeps us from contributing and short circuits our willingness to explore. It’s one of the underlying drivers that hijack business success.
As soon as we give it a name, though, as soon as we call it out, we can begin to move forward. Fear of shame unspoken is fear of shame amplified.
Look at the results you are getting in your life. Could it be that the real culprit, the driving force behind the average and mediocre results, is fear of shame?
Average and mediocre happens without effort. All you need to do is... nothing. That's why the world is over run with average. But extraordinary success will take effort on your part. Big achievers know this. They don't sit on the side lines and wait. They take action; because they know that a business will never outgrow the quality of thinking the leader brings to it.
Be afraid of significant failure if you can quantify the downsides. But call out fear of shame because it is a waste and a trap.